He's Not As Stupid As He Seems
by H. Coco
Summary: When Vector and Espio go out without Charmy, Rouge breaks into the Chaotix HQ, thinking she can take on Charmy and leave with the Chaos Emerald. Oh Rouge...


Hiya, people! Though it goes without saying, this is a one-shot-

**-that you wrote instead of working on Memoirs of a Forgotten Family.**

Well, excuse me if my stupid muse decided to give me inspiration for this instead of that.

**Who are you calling stupid? **

The guy- girl- wait, what gender are you?

**...this isn't gonna end well. Also, we don't own Sonic the Hedgehog.**

Thanks for reading. Wait, we need to talk!

**...this isn't gonna end well.**

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He's Not as Stupid as He Seems...

From the bushes across the street from the Chaotix detective agency, a bat wearing a leather skintight suit hid. The bat, known as Rouge, glanced across the road and saw a chameleon, Espio, and a crocodile, Vector, leaving the small building. Rouge smiled.

Her goal, you see, had nothing to do with the Chaotix. Rather, she was after the chaos emerald that was currently being kept inside the Chaotix Detective Agency until Tails could find a better place for it. He and Sonic had divided them amongst people they trusted, and Rouge wasn't on that list. Surprisingly, though, Shadow was... anyway, she didn't get a chaos emerald, and now, she was just gonna steal it. A smirk formed on her lips as she thought of the beautiful gem, but faded as she realized the detectives leaving were one bumbling idiot short.

"Wonder where they're going." Rouge mumbled to herself, and a million places where they couldn't bring a six year old hyperactive bee crossed her mind. She shook the thoughts out of her head and crept across the street, checking to make sure the two reptiles were long gone.

A smirk crossed her face when she found no evidence of the two reptiles still crawling around, and set to work picking the lock. Only when she had finished that less than exhausting task did she stop to consider what she'd do about that kid. The bat ended up shrugging it off; After all, what harm could a little bumbling bee do?

The wooden door creaked open. Boots designed for stealth crept silently across the wooden floor of the detective agency. The female bat glanced around, finding no sign of the third member of the Chaotix. "With luck, he's fast asleep," She muttered. "Now, if I were a trio of bumbling idiots, where would I keep a valuable gem?" It hit her almost instantly. "The kitchen."

With grace and poise that would make any ninja jealous, Rouge stole across the living area and into the kitchen, which was dark. That didn't matter to Rouge, a bat with echo location. It took her little time to get into the mind of the idiotic leader of the detectives and figure out where he'd hide the chaos emerald: behind the cabinet, next to the cookies.

Sure enough, her never failing intuition found the chaos emerald, right next to a box of never before opened cookies. The thief smirked. Too easy, she thought as she admired the gem. Even in darkness, it held a mystic beauty beyond any other she'd ever seen. It made the chaos emeralds more... appealing, in a sense. It was why she went after them; not because of their power.

All of a sudden, the lights turned on.

Rouge's eyes widened as she turned around, wondering how she hadn't heard anyone approaching. Though she relaxed at the sight of a young bee, Charmy, standing in the doorway, wearing his trademark outfit, and carrying a yellow blanket. The child stared up at her, big and curious eyes watching her every move.

"Oh, it's just you," Rouge commented. Charmy made no remark, so she continued. "I'll just be taking this chaos emerald, so if you don't mind moving..." She trailed off. The young bee stayed put, and after a whole minute of this, the bat grew restless and tried to move past him, only to be stopped by the bee tripping her, causing her to drop the emerald. Charmy quickly snatched it and flew upstairs, all without making a sound. Rouge gave a growl and followed him.

The upper levels of the Chaotix detective agency were more complex than they appeared. This, of course, made finding the little bee more of a nuisance. Sure, echo location was a bonus, but she still had to check every room individually, and there were some places it couldn't check for her. The last room in the hallway was the last one to be checked.

The room had ugly brown wallpapering. The bed had black bedsheets and on a wooden desk were papers and a pair of headphones. It could only be Vector's room, Rouge inferred as she glanced around. A small bump underneath the blanket caught her attention, stunning her for a moment. Then she shook it off; he had been raised by Vector and Espio, after all.

You can only imagine Rouge's surprise when the overturned blanket revealed nothing more than a pillow, about the size of the small bee. Another shock hit her as the door slammed shut. A click sound told her that the bee brat had locked it. Normally, this wouldn't have been a problem, but Rouge had left her lock-picking equipment downstairs, near the door where she entered. The bat groaned.

"Charmy, sweetie," Rouge cooed through the door. "Please, would you let me out?"

"NO!"

The bat could feel her temper rising. "Please, dearie? If you let me out, I'll go without a fight."

"NO! You liar!"

_Damn._ Rouge thought. Her patience was worn through, "Charmy, open the door now or I'll swat you against the wall!"

"...yeah, _**now**_ I'm gonna open the door!"

Rouge growled, her temper worn. Now, she was _**mad**_. Annoyance and anger pulsed through her, giving her the strength to knock down the door in front of her. Charmy gave a small yip of surprise, then flew off, downstairs. The bat followed, a determined expression crossing her features. Strong, powerful wings easily outmatched the smaller wings of the youngest Chaotix member, but in such a small home, she was restricted; she couldn't fly nearly as fast as she could outside. That would also explain why Charmy hadn't attempted to flee out the window; he would easily be outmatched.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Rouge flew into a thin wire, tightly pulled across the archway between the stairwell and the living area of the Agency. Her foot caught it, causing her to fall to the floor. Rouge growled, looking up and spotting the boy peaking out from behind the couch. Too late did he realized he'd been caught, and she had sprung up and grabbed the bee.

Rouge growled; he had again hidden the Chaos Emerald. After this revelation she tightened her hold around the struggling boy, whispering menacingly into his antennae, "Now... where is my Chaos Emerald?"

Charmy stared at her with fearful eyes, "It's, uh, it's..." He looked behind her, then shouted, "VECTOR! ESPIO! HELP ME!"

The bat turned around, expecting to see the two reptiles either standing at the doorway in shock, or heading towards her to attack. Instead, she saw only the closed door. Her mind was only registered that she'd been tricked by a six year old when a sharp pain assaulted her wrist; the bat yipped and let go of the child, who scrambled away as fast as he could, once again rushing up the stairs. Rouge followed, not far behind.

Rouge cursed under her breath as she followed behind the six year old bee. This time, the bathroom was plainly left open. A grin crossed her face; the kid had finally slipped up. She ran over, stopping herself by latching onto the doorway. All she could tell from her position was that the window was wide open; had Charmy fled?

Curiosity compelled Rouge to stick her head out the window. No signs of the youthful bee flying through struck her as odd. She stuck herself out a little more; perhaps he had hidden under the window sill...

Of course, the thought that she was being bluffed didn't enter her mind until she found herself tumbling to the ground, someone having pushed her out from behind.

Lucky for her, Rouge had bat wings, which instinctively beat against the air, saving her at the last moment. She breathed a sigh of relief, then rushed to the door, praying Charmy hadn't locked it yet. As it turns out, luck was on her side this time; the door was still unlocked, and opened with a slight creak.

The moment Rouge entered the living area, she spotted Charmy taking something out of the couch cushions: the Chaos Emerald. A grin to challenge that of the Cheshire Cat crossed her face. "Hello again Charmy..."

Said bee jumped, spinning around only to be once again grabbed by the arms of the thieving bat. Rouge held him carefully, so he could not bite her again. The first time would probably scar, she mused, glancing to the mark left by the bee on her wrist. Also, she would get checked for disease.

The boy held the Chaos Emerald close to him, but that didn't prevent Rouge from easily wrestling it from the young boy's grasp. He cried out as Rouge tossed him effortlessly aside, instead gazing longingly at the gem now held in her palm.

Her biggest mistake was taking her eyes off of Charmy; the young bee had recovered and was glaring at her. All of a sudden, he smirked. The ground below her moved out from underneath her, and Rouge found herself crashing down to the floor. The Chaos Emerald fell from her grasp and behind a nearby end table. Rouge cursed; the end table was too small for her to crawl beneath. Charmy, who was standing behind her, suddenly dove underneath it, as he was small enough.

However, where Charmy Bee had a size advantage, Rouge had a strength advantage; with little difficulty, she moved the end table over slowly so she could get to the nuisance (to her at least. However, she found the end table tipped towards her, and before she could properly react, it toppled her, crushing her beneath it as she struggled. The faint sound of a child's giggling caught her ears. Anger once again coursed through her, and she tossed it off of herself and towards the one giggling. A cry pierced her ears; she had hit Charmy. Oops... not.

Grinning, she picked herself off the floor. Charmy was struggling beneath the end table (which was much too heavy for him to move), and the Chaos Emerald was lying mere feet away. Turning to give Charmy (who was glaring at her angrily) a triumphant smirk, she picked up the Chaos Emerald and began towards the door.

"AH!" Rouge let out this short scream when something hard (and _**sticky**_**) **hit her head. And worse, it's not coming off; the sticky hard candy had acted as glue and fastened the bowl to her head. One hand (the hand that was _**not**_ holding the Chaos Emerald) tried to get it off her, when she felt the Chaos Emerald being pulled at. By the time she had glanced down, it was gone, and Charmy was running into the kitchen. Wasting no time, she picked herself up and runs after him.

The moment she entered, Rouge found herself assaulted; something small and hard was being thrown at her... head, chest, well, anywhere really. She shielded herself, walking backwards slowly when her high-heeled boots (seriously, why did she where these?) caught on something, and she fell backwards onto the tile... on her back. Now she could tell what the pest had been throwing at her: cookies, from the box Vector had never opened. Looking down, she found her boot caught on Charmy's blanket and quickly fixed the problem. All the while, she didn't miss the sound of little wings flying above her and towards the stairwell (at least, according to her echo location).

Rouge flew up the stairs (being careful of any tripwires this time), and into a room where the door had just slammed shut. This door didn't make any noise when it was opened, and upon entry, she knew which bedroom she had entered: Espio's. The ninja's room was by far the cleanest. The walls were the same color as Vector's, but taking away from that was the multiple ninja weapons on them. Another attention grabber was the feng shui. The entire place was decorated skillfully with plants, stones, and anything you might find in a typical Chinese home.

Oh, another attention grabber? The little bee on the dresser with a sword grasped in a throwing position.

A shriek came from the bat as she ducked, expecting the sword to hit her. Instead, it hit the wall just above her. Rouge chuckled, taunting the younger child, who all the while had a smirk on his face. It didn't register that he had done something until something hit her on the head: a candle that had been apart of Espio's feng shui stuff.

Charmy flew out of the room, Rouge hot on his tail. He quickly opened and closed the door across the hall from Vector's. Rouge, too angry to predict another trick, opened and closed the door behind her. The only other room possibility had to be Charmy's own room. And sure enough, there they were, inside the child's place of living. The room itself was an ugly brown, like the rest of the upstairs, but with bright yellow sheets on the bed, toys in one corner (not nearly enough for a toy box, though), and drawings tacked up against the wall. Rouge paid no heed to these, though. Instead, her attention was focused on the young bee currently floating above the light fixture, which included a fan, and a light bulb.

This time, Rouge carefully crept underneath the fixture, watching the child from the floor. When she assumed it was safe, she jumped up to grab him. At that moment, Charmy pulled a chord with the same invisible wire; the ceiling fan turned on, whacking Rouge's hands as she fell downwards, cradling them.

The buzzing of Charmy's wings nearby caught her attention, and within seconds she was up and ready to roll. The young bee was currently sitting on a nearby dresser, watching her intently. As she approached (careful to make sure that he wouldn't pull anymore tricks), the young bee continued to grin at her until she was nearby; then, he splashed her face with apple juice. Rouge wiped the liquid from her eyes first, then spit out some that got in her mouth. Of course, she couldn't really do much when something soft hit the back of her head, knocking her to the floor. The feathers dancing around told her the object was a pillow. And Charmy's giggling was heard as he exited out into the hallway.

Rouge recovered fast enough to see Charmy's antennae as he flew back into the bathroom. Rouge ran in after him, and for some reason, wasn't prepared when she found her legs wrapped in toilet paper all of a sudden. Charmy, behind her, snickered, then proceeded to spray shampoo at her, covering her clothing in the semi-sticky substance. Rouge, of course, did the only sensible thing any angry person would do; scream.

Fast beating wings alerted Rouge to the fact that Charmy was heading downstairs. Despite already taking quite a beating, she followed him, certain she would get the Emerald this time. Downstairs, Charmy had taken shelter on the couch, grabbing random things and throwing them when Rouge had come into view; everything from pencils to lamps were on that list. The final straw was a bowling ball (which landed three feet from the cowering bat).

"I. HAVE. HAD IT!" She cried, frustrated. With all her strength, she managed to pick up the bowling ball and hurl it towards the unprepared kid. It hit poor Charmy straight in the gut, causing him to cry out in pain and fall to the ground, dropping the Chaos Emerald in the process. It rolled under the couch.

Without a moments delay, Rouge scrambled under the couch, finding all sorts of disgusting things contaminating _her_ Chaos Emerald. She overcame her disgust (after all, it could be cleaned), and finally obtained her prize: the green Chaos Emerald. She smirked as she stared at it, thinking about how much she had gone through to get it. When she slipped on something. It hadn't always been there; Charmy had pushed it from his spot on the floor. The bowling ball she had chucked at his chest.

Rouge glared daggers at the little bee, as though that would help her. She briefly noticed the Chaos Emerald had been dropped, and picked it up. She, too angry to look for more traps, approached the youth.

"I am through with you! I am taking this Chaos Emerald and leaving and you are going to have to deal with it!" Rouge then picked up Charmy, already ailing from the bowling ball, and tossed him into a nearby wall. The thief forgot that Charmy was a child, forgotten about Vector and Espio, forgotten everything. Without a second thought, she began kicking the young child in the gut repeatedly, laughing as she did so. She didn't register his cries; nor the sound of a key turning in the lock.

"VECTOR! ESPIO!" Rouge didn't turn around, having had that trick played on her before. It was only when she heard a bag drop to the floor did she abandon her beating and turned to find herself face to face with the two reptiles. Unsure of what to do, she grinned nervously.

"Uh, hi... well, this is awkward... I'm gonna go now..." With the Chaos Emerald in hand, she flew past them, meaning to leave, when a strong claw grabbed her ankle and yanked her to the ground in front of them. Five ninja stars were thrown from Espio, effectively pinning her to the floor. And worse, she couldn't move.

"Not so fast, bat girl. You're gonna tell us what you did ta Charmy, you're gonna give that emerald back, and then you're gonna leave. Maybe." Instead of being threatened by that, well, threat, Rouge laughed. I mean, what could Vector possibly do to her that Charmy hadn't?

She answered his question anyways, "More like what _**he**_ had done to _**me**_! That little- little- bug had reduced me to _**this!**_" She gestured to herself. Vector and Espio seemed unimpressed. The larger of the two cracked his knuckles, while the other one went into stance. Rouge gulped.

The resulting scream could be heard miles away...

...before Rouge was unceremoniously thrown out, and quite literally. It would be the lightest blow she had received all night. And she was short one Chaos Emerald, to boot. The bat scrambled over to the bushes where she had earlier been staking out, to see the Chaotix once again leaving their home. Espio was holding the Emerald tight in his claw, while Vector was cradling Charmy, inspecting his bruised gut.

Rouge watched as the three left. They both seemed convinced the little bee had been the victim! Despite the beating she had received from both parties, she couldn't help smirking as they walked off, wondering aloud:

"Maybe he's not as stupid as he seems..."

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**WOW! One of your best works! ...are you sure you wrote it?**

Of course I'm sure! But I do have to give credit to Midnight Bell, who helped me with the better half of this story.

**The battle half?**

Yup. Well, you guys know that bit about reading and reviewing... so I'm not gonna tell you. (Leaves)

**Okay... it goes like this: You read, you review. Or else. Now I gotta go, or she'll make me eat toenail soup. (shutters and leaves)**


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